Ten things I learnt from life

I completed 26 years of this life last month. In the past 26 years, life has put me through different situations and each of them taught me something new. Then I thought I will make a list of things that I learnt from life which will help me make my future better. However, the list just went on and on. Finally, I thought I will shorten the list. So, here is the list of the top 10 things that I have learnt.

1. Think before you speak. Most of the time I got into trouble, it was because I said something about somebody somewhere. Not that I am the kind who likes to make people’s secrets open, but somehow in my case, every time the guy I spoke to and the guy I spoke about, came together. Next, was always history.
   
2. Plan before you do. I generally plan everything I do. It’s only because of proper planning and execution that I am what I am today. Planning doesn’t really make things easy but it definitely puts things on track and gives you a focus. Moreover, planning makes it easy for you to check the status of your progress. Especially when you are multi-tasking, planning is a must.
   
3. Take relationships seriously. It takes a lot of time to build a relationship, to break, it takes just a moment. Plus, it’s only when a relationship is broken that you realize its importance. Unless you are committed, do not get into any relationship. Once you are committed, try to keep it going. Trust me, its not really a good feeling to see your loved ones going away from you.
   
4. Do not push aside responsibilities. We all love independence. However, independence doesn’t give us the option of running away from responsibilities. Responsibilities of your family needs to be on priority. All of us have dreams that we try to achieve. But, after your achievement, if your family is not with you to celebrate, it’s meaningless.
   
5. There is no time as right time. Do not wait for the right time to start anything. If you need to do something, just do it. All my unfulfilled dreams are because I am still waiting for the right time which, I am sure, is not coming soon. Moreover, starting things early doesn’t really hurt.
   
6. Knowledge never goes waste. Do not shy away from learning new things. You never know, when these small skills may help you. When I started taking interest in computers while studying literature, people said it won't really help career wise. Today I am working in a software product company making as much as computer engineers. If I had not pursued my interest then, I don’t know what would have happened to me.
   
7. Be prepared for surprises. Life is full of surprises. While some surprises are pleasant, some others shatter you. It is pretty obvious that the way you enjoy all the happiness from pleasant surprises, you must also accept the problems that come with the not so pleasant ones.
   
8. Money matters. Money cannot buy everything, but you need money to buy even the bare necessities of life. Do not disrespect money just because you are making a little more than others, spend it intelligently. At the same time, don’t be stingy. If spending a little money on something can make you happy, go ahead.
   
9. Success is temporary. Perseverance pays. If you try hard, you will definitely be successful. However, success should not change you. If you relax after you get what you set out to achieve, it will soon go out of your hand. You must understand that maintaining your success is as important as achieving it. Many a times it has happened to me that I got what I wanted but I was about to lose it because of my carelessness.
   
10. Respect others. None of us is a genius. If you can do something, there must me someone else who can do better. At the same time, everybody has some unique quality which must be respected. We all have hearts with love and affection. We feel hurt if our feelings are made fun of. The same way, we must also realize that the same happens to others as well. Respect others, others’ feelings.

Integrity in question, again!

I was never committed, she said. I am still not sure if she meant it. After doing all that I could do, this was the last thing I expected. I understand she was angry, but, in anger, you generally speak your mind.

Yes, I was not committed. If putting her interest in priority as opposed to mine, deciding to drop the plans I had made for my life, deciding to let love take over logic, deciding to push everybody else aside for the one I loved, and deciding to stand by her when she needed me doesn’t mean commitment, I was not committed.

What she failed to understand is that I am equally sad because things are not happening the way we thought. Even more saddening is the fact that she has started suspecting my integrity. I also have a heart. I also have feelings. I also feel hurt. However, I am not going to answer her back. She has been great all through so this one-off statement is not going to change what I feel for her. I still consider her one of my own, one I can trust. At the same time, I am not going to do anything that will change her opinion on me, because after doing all that I did, I don’t think I have to prove anything to anyone.

Phone calls

Not that it has happened for the first time. There have been several occasions when we would not call each other for days. But this time, it’s different. While on all other occasions, we would fight on trivial issues and decide to hang up on each other and then expect the other to call first, this time we have mutually decided to stop calling regularly. Considering the fact that we used to call each other ten times a day and speak for hours together, when we decided to step back, phone calls were the first thing on the hit list. So, we have decided to call each other just once a week now.

Waiting for her call is unbearable. Not waiting is impossible. I understand that things are not like before and I also understand that she must be going through the same feeling of uneasiness like I am. But, as I said before, the time has come.

The missing word

Every time she would write me a mail, she would write “Love” before signing off. The mail I received today had just her name, the love was missing. Not that she has stopped loving me. She must have thought a lot before deciding to drop the word. She must have felt bad. But, the time has come; the time for us to pretend that we are no longer in love.

Dave's story

This Dave guy had a really tough life. He was working as a weather report presenter in a local news channel. He was making pretty good money, good enough for him to call his career lucrative. Though, apart from the salary part, it was anything but lucrative. Not to mention, he had a really screwed up life- he was divorced, his kids were staying with his ex-wife and he had an ailing father to take care of.

Dave was often a victim of public anger. People would throw things on him on the road every time his weather predication went wrong. It happened almost every month, so much so that after some time he just stopped reacting to it. His father thought he was good for nothing. He thought Dave was not taking care of his children. His wife thought he was weird. His children never really thought anything about him.

Dave, on the other hand, was anything but casual. He was very caring towards his father. He would accompany his father to the doctor and make sure that he got all the medication he required. He wanted to start things again with his wife and even went to a family consultant, which somehow did not work. His children had their own set of problems which he tried to solve putting his best effort.

Dave was torn between his unsuccessful work and family life. Every step he took to make things better, backfired. Frustrated, though showing no sign of frustration, he lead his life as if nothing happened. He knew that his family was not really proud of all that was doing. He knew that he was considered a loser in the materialistic American world. But, he had a dream. He had a dream of making it big. He applied for a for a position in a national news channel that would give hem a million dollars in salary, respect, and yes, a sense of achievement. He got the job, finally.

Right when everything looked like going right, he was in a dilemma whether to stay back with his family which he loved so much or to relocate to New York for the new job. His kids did not want to relocate to New York. His ex-wife was planning to marry another guy. His father was about to die in a few days. It wasn’t an easy decision for him to make. He kept buying time from the people who offered him the job, but as days passed, it looked like he was not going to join them. The only dream he had nurtured amongst all the difficulties in life was about to break. At last it was quite certain that he was going to turn down the offer.

All this while, I wanted him to go to New York. I knew it was not easy for him but I wanted him to leave his personal life behind and start things again. I was sad that the job that was so important for him, that he got after so much of hard work, that could change his life, was right in his hand but he was almost throwing it away. I was sad that he was going to be another guy who would shatter his dreams at the cost of meaningless relationships. I was sad that probably life would not give him a second chance.

Guess what, at the last moment, he accepted the offer. He went to New York and made it big. His ex wife got married to another guy, his father died, his children stayed back with their mom. Here in New York, he was alone but happy. After all, he achieved the American Dream of being successful in life.

It’s always better to be happy alone than be sad in a crowd. Relationships are meant to push you up, the moment they try to pull you down, you must realize that there is something wrong. Moreover, you must realize that emotional and material happiness can co-exist but if you have to make a choice, remember, emotions change, materials do not. It is always great to be with your loved ones, but if things don’t work, move on. If you have a dream, do not let any emotional obstacle stop you from achieving it. We can all be like Dave- though alone, happy. By the way, Dave is the guy from The Weather Man, a movie I saw a few days back.