That's what she said :-)

You are a bastard.
You are a perfect example of people who should be dumped.
You let me down.
I will make sure you leave the city.
It’s only about looks for you. You are with me only because I am better than others around.
I am much better than you, you can never be like me.
You vernies are backward.
I wish you never get happiness in your life.
They left you for good. No one would want to spend her life with you.

She told me these and a million other things. But we are still together. Status-Committed. Sometimes I surprise myself with the things I do. Not too sure whether to be happy for being able to ignore these things or to be sad that I still haven't learnt the lessons of life.

Unfinished

Antaheena rati aane swapna kete antaheena,
Swapna kebe indradhanu kebe puni rangaheena.
Bharidiye sabu swapna saptaranga range,
Prati rati swapna dekhe prati bhor bhange.

Fallen...

It fell. Dry and old- for how long could it have stayed there anyway. Leaves fall from trees, it’s just normal.

It was laying there under the tree, knowing very well that it could never go back to where it came from. A new budding leaf had already taken its place. Greener, younger than it was. Hope- it didn’t lose, kept itself tangled amongst other leaves but never left. Hopeless- its fate was already written, long long back.

Came a gust of wind and it fought hard to stay still. It obviously could not, just a fallen leaf it was. Blown away only to get stuck to the barbwire in the fence. A barb piercing it. Dry already, it did not even bleed.

Another gust and it ripped through the barb. Two pieces, blown away in two different directions. In tears, as they looked back at the tree, indifference was the only emotion the tree showed. Thrown somewhere far away, they still think of the tree, though. Funny!!

I stood..

I stood there when the gust of wind hit me. Dust all over me. I didn’t move. I stood. The flood brought with it all the dirt. Drenched me; every inch of me. I still stood. The winter stole the water out of me. Chapped skin, blood and flies all over me. I still stood. Summer came with its own weapon. Sweat dripping right onto my wounds. Tears? Yes. But, I still stood.

Spring comes and you pass by. You call me filthy, stinky, garbage. Yes I am. But I also know that I have stood the test of time. I certainly stood.

Life's rules

You spend years trying to figure out what you should do and what you should not in life. You make a list a list of rules and follow them religiously for many more years. And then, one fine day, you break one. Bang- reality hits you the next moment. You break into pieces. The only thing you can do is cry, shout and repent. Move on? You just cannot.

I am...

I am the hand that held her to tell her that I would be there whenever she needed me. The same hand also moved back when I was her only hope.

I am the shoulder that she had rested her head on and dreamt of our lives together. The same shoulders pushed her aside just when the dreams were coming true.

I am the eyes that were in tears when I came to know it was over. The same eyes had turned blind when she was dyeing to show me her wounds.

I am the lips that had kissed her assuring that I will always be with her. The same lips refused to open when she needed that one answer.

I am the ears that never got tired listening to her words. The same ears also turned deaf when she was crying for help.

Yes, I am, and I hate myself for having been so.

And the winner is....

They were written off just about a week back. They needed five straight wins and there were better teams to fight with. Only a miracle could have helped them. Well, miracle happened. They won all the five and they are in the semi-finals. What a team!! Go Chargers.

Just another thought

At the middle of the night when I am thinking of her, I am the last person that she would be thinking of. I know that things could have been different if I had taken that one last step. But, it wasn’t easy. Of course, seeing her status change to married and looking at her bridal picture uploaded on Orkut isn’t easy either.

I am happy that she was happy when she got married, sad that I wasn’t there. I am happy that she is married, sad that I couldn’t marry her. Things could have been different if life was a little kind to me. Sadly, life has its own weird way of deciding. So, while I am thinking about her here, she might have forgotten me already. Life, damn!

I quit

Yes, I have quit my job here in Hyderabad. I had no other option. Moreover, apart from professional reasons, there were some memories from Hyderabad that were hounding me and I thought it would be better for me leave the city altogether. So, the end of this week also brings with it the end to my stay here. This Sunday, I am leaving for Pune. While I am excited about going to Pune, I am equally sad for leaving Hyderabad behind; the city that gave me more than I expected. However, life needs to move on. I hope Pune embraces me the way Hyderabad did. Wish me luck.

End of the story

I know you had left me, what I didn’t expect was that you would never look back. I wanted to be present at the most important day of the most important person in my life. But, sadly, I wasn’t invited. I am sure you had reasons to avoid me and I am not complaining either. Just that, though we were strangers when you got married, I thought you would at least write me five lines thinking of the five years we were together for. But then, you kept your word- “Never” really meant “never”.

Now that our story has finally reached its end and I couldn’t give you anything, I wish you all the happiness in your life ahead- may all your dreams come true and each moment bring with it a reason to smile. Good bye.