John and Jane, and Me

I saw John and Jane last Sunday. Before you start wondering who the hell are they- it’s a movie. It’s a movie about six youngsters working in a call center somewhere in India. All of them have their own reasons to work in a call center. Some like their job, some others don’t. However, all of them have dreams of getting out of the call center one day and making it big in life.

Three years back, I was also a part of the crowd that got up in the middle of the night to go to office, when the whole of eastern world was in sleep. Working in the weirdest time of night I have sold the weirdest things over phone- fire blanket, newspaper, loans, Dish TV connection, mobile phones and a whole lot of similar things. Initially, it was fun. After being rejected by a few companies when I got this job, I accepted the offer without thinking twice. What I didn’t realize was the pain that was to follow.

Every night I would call hundreds of people in the US. Some would listen, some would not, some would just hang up on my face, some others would abuse. While I would be going through all this, the Sales Board would still show a big zero next to my name. Some days I would make no sale and get consolation from my Team Leader, some other day I would make the highest number of sales on the floor and get appreciation. When the shift would get over every morning, I would decide to quit the job and do something different. However, every night I would go back to the office to do the same pre-programmed job.

One day I saw an advertisement in a newspaper asking for applications for a three month course in Instructional Design by an e-learning company. It meant nine hours of work in the night and eight hours of training during the day, which gave me just seven hours for other things which includes sleeping, eating, commuting to offices in two different areas in the city etc. Initially I was apprehensive about it, but finally I got myself admitted in the course. The trainers wanted me to quit my job and focus on the course but I had to take care of my finances so I decided to continue both.

While I knew that I was quitting my job in maximum three months, I didn’t want to leave the job as a loser. Despite getting no time to eat or sleep, I put in efforts to make sure that I quit the job as the best performer and with my head high. I didn’t want my tight schedule to affect my work. Though I couldn’t do anything extraordinary, I kept my performance at an above average level.

At the training classes, I was the best performer. Since I had joined this course with my limited finances, I had no other options but to do well. I also got assurance that I will be placed after the completion of the course which further fuelled my efforts. But, fate had other plans.

In just one month my body decided to betray me. I got seriously ill. I started to vomit blood. I had no other option but to decide on either this or that. I knew that I will have a good job after two months but I could not afford to leave my job for the course. I decided to drop the course and continue the job.

I didn’t go to the class for a week or so and then I got a call from them. I was asked to come to their office. When I told them about my situation, they appreciated the way I had performed in the past one month despite all these problems and offered me the position right away. Since then I have been working as an Instructional Designer and I guess I have done a good job till now.

I left my call center job and joined the e-learning company. However, despite all the hardships, humiliation, frustration I had to go through during the six months at the call center, it taught me a lot of things. It taught me that hard work pays, it taught me that every call comes with a possibility, it taught me that numbers are what matters at the end of the day, finally, it taught me to remember failures forget successes. If I had forgotten the failures, I would never have been able to reach where I am today would still be part of the crowd of Johns and Janes.

Phoren Dreams

“When are you going abroad?”-is the question that I have been asked a hundred times. The answer depends on who is asking-very soon, after a couple of months, next year, not interested at all-are the answers I give.

I don’t blame the questioners though. Somehow, going abroad has become the most cherished dream for most of the guys I know. Neither is it bad to dream about going abroad. After all, we all have got this one life to do whatever we dream of.

I know a lot of guys whose only dream in life is to go abroad. Some took up computer science just to go abroad, some gave JEE a miss to prepare for SAT, for some GRE was more important that board exams, for some others, any means of going abroad was welcome. I also know a few guys who went abroad just because they could afford to- “when I can afford, why not” was the answer. But the fact is, most of them were losers. They went abroad because they couldn’t make it here in India. None of them dropped IIT or IIM to go to Harvard or Stanford. They couldn’t manage to get a seat in the good institutes here so they decided to join worse institutes abroad. The next logic was studying abroad will get them better jobs. Well, that’s true, but is that the only way to succeed? I don’t agree.

I am not cribbing about people who went abroad. In most of the cases, I am happy that they atleast got what they wanted, however useless it might seem to me. I am happy that they are happy. But what makes me sad is when they feel like we are in anyway less able then them.

Now let's get to the point- when am I going abroad? The answer is “I don’t know”. I will only go when I have multiple options to choose from and I will decide which one to choose. All my life, I have tried to see that I reach level where I have options to choose from. In college I chose to study Arts when I had offers from Science and Commerce as well. I chose to take up English Literature when I had offers from Economics also. I chose to take up Instructional Design when I had offers to join Corporate Communications and Advertising. Besides, every time I decided to change my job, I got multiple options to choose from and I decided where to join (not necessarily the best paying). Now after four years of work experience, while I am working a good company with a good salary, I have chosen to go for my MBA between the choices of continuing the work and lead a good life and toil for two years and lead a better life. And yes, when I talk of choices, I mean the best choices possible. Unfortunately, I don’t have many choices left for me to decide on which institute to join for my MBA. It is going to be XLRI, the best institute in Asia Pacific for HR.

So while you are wondering as to what exactly the plan is- the plan is to do the best in work, join the best institute, top the class, get the best of offers and choose the best job. And if I ever go abroad, will not go as a loser, for sure.

Daily routine of an Instructional Designer

8.30- The alarm rings. I press the snooze button.
8:40- The alarm rings again. I switch it off.
9:30- I get up but still roll on the bed.
10:00- Finally, I get up.
10:30- I start for office.
11:00- I reach office.
11:30- I check my mails, chat, check the news, orkut, etc. etc.
12:30- I feel hungry, wait for lunch.
1:00- Lunch Time.
1:45- I finish my lunch and go for a smoke.
2:15- I come back from smoke and start my work.
3:30- Time for a game of Table Tennis.
4:30- I come back to my desk with snacks in hand.
5:00- I prepare for the meeting scheduled in the day.
6:00- Coffee/Tea/Smoke.
6:30- Meeting starts.
7:30- Meeting ends.
8:00- I leave office.
8:30- I reach home.

Not that I am on bench. I am very much a performer in my office. But, my office is so bloody generous that I have started feeling guilty of myself. As if this wasn’t enough, they have started serving beer in office also. I have become so bloody spoilt and lethargic. I just hope my office doesn’t make me impotent.

Something fishy

After some ultra-eventful weeks, things have just stopped happening to me.

I come to office expecting a proper dress down for having delivered a project much after the deadline and what I get is appreciation for my good work. I go the coaching class expecting the worst possible humiliation for having not prepared and the teacher asks me the only question I know the answer to. I ride my bike defying all speed limits and I still reach home safely, not to mention saving a lot of time that way. I play Table Tennis in the weirdest possible ways and still win.

I think God has really some horrific plans for me in future. Wish me luck!

5 ways to screw up your career

1. Be honest
2. Think about your company’s profit
3. Trust your Manager
4. Relocate to another city to work at the client’s place
5. Work there on contract

Office Office

It’s been more than a month in Bangalore and I just thought I would write about some of my office experiences. So, here they are.

Training (May 7th-11th)

Day 1

So it all started with the distribution of a thick book (400+ pages, A4 size) which almost looked like an epic. Then everybody gave their introduction, not to be surprised I was an odd man out amongst all techies. So... As I opened the book, I found only jargons. To make me more terrified, some of them were in bold. In the first session, I was busy leching at the girl in front of me and the whole second session I was just trying not to sleep. The day ended with a question/answer session and my knowledge of XML was almost compared with Osama's knowledge of peace by the trainer.

Day 2

Day 2 was equally bad.

The trainer wanted us to write some codes....I copied it from the book. Things worked. I didn't know what/how/why things happened in back end. My codes were perfectly ok but (since copied from the book).

Only thing good about the training is the girl in front has started responding to my relentless leching.

In the afternoon session, I could see dark clouds are all over.....

No more copy paste from the book is possible. Trainer wanted me to write a code and I did all kinds of error. To make things even more embarrassing, the system gives a loud beep every time you enter a wrong code. In the silent room, my system was beeping all the time, inviting unwelcome attention of others (including the girl in front)

Day 3

Third day of training was equally bad. Didn't understand the head or tail of it. To make things funnier, I identified a java program as xml program (both of them look like twins) triggering a wave of laughter in the room.

There was a case study where we had to write a program for the solution. Somehow I managed to do that with some minor errors. HOW? I don't think even god knows how :-)

Day 4

Q: So Satya, how do you find the training?
A: Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.
Q: How is the training material?
A: Superb.
Q: Any suggestions to improve the training?
A: It’s absolutely perfect, no improvement required.
Q: Anything else you want to say?
A: Why the hell am I here?????????????

Day 5

There was this case study where we had to create an application based on a given business problem. We were divided in teams. Each team divided the work amongst its members. My team gave me the job of supplying tea/coffee/snacks and of course providing moral support.

Case study finished. We got certificates.

The End.

Exercise Time (May 17th)

There was silence everywhere.

The only sound you could hear was of people typing hysterically on the keyboard.

And, suddenly this guy appeared with jeans, t-shirt and a pair of specs. Looked like any other guy in the company, but he was NOT.

He was the exercise instructor.

So the guy next to me calls me for exercise. Exercise?????? I thought I have to write some test but no, I was wrong; it meant serious exercise that we used to do every Saturday morning in school (remember those white canvas shoes :-)).

So this guy came to our bay and stood in front of us, giving us demonstrations. We followed him. Initially I felt really awkward as I thought everybody on the floor must be watching us. But no, no one was bothered. Then I was told that everybody's turn will come.

So we did some 1234 type exercises (read drills) and the session was dismissed.

The whole time, my attention was on a girl who was less bothered about the steps and more conscious as to not fall down. But, thanks to her; if she had fallen down the scroll of every other news channel would have changed from "Punjab on Fire" to "Earthquake in Bangalore".

Upside Down (May 18th)

I came in the morning and thought I'd go for tea. So, to lock the comp I pressed Ctrl+Alt+Del but may be I pressed some other button by mistake and the display became upside down. I knew its a minor problem as I keep doing it for fun at home. But, since I had forgotten the shortcut keys, I asked the guy next to me for help.

Heaven fell down......

Suddenly I see the entire office coming to see my system the same way people thronged Gansh temples when the God decided to drink milk some years back. People surrounded me to ask questions as if they have got Amar Singh after his defeat in UP. I was standing helpless.

Finally one smart guy corrected the system and it started working.